Can you unbundle fatherhood from marriage? That's the topic that Richard Reeves and I are (politely) skirmishing over at Fairer Disputations. Reeves would like to see more support for and ideals of fatherhood where fathers live apart from their children and are not married to their mothers. Men need to know what they can uniquely contribute to their… Read More
Tag: marriage
The Long Wait for Weddings
As America geared up for a wedding boom in the summer of 2022, I wrote about the obstacles that disrupt weddings and other communal rites of passage in non-covid times. No matter how stripped down the ceremony, people need to be able to plan travel. The people we love are too scattered for spontaneity. We… Read More
Children Are a Rebuke to Our Schedules
After our baby, Beatrice, was born, I wrote a piece for the Institute for Family Studies on children as natural born interruptors, including of some of our culture's mistaken expectations about time. We can deceive ourselves (at least for a little while) about our limits and our control—by staying up too late to finish something… Read More
Destroying Marriage, a Diptych
From the New York Times, a feature on the new Argentine trend of throwing fake weddings to enjoy the spectacle and the celebration. In case there was any doubt, as the couple (hired actors) left the stage, colored lights flashed, the disc jockey started the music pumping, and the announcement was made to the paying guests:… Read More
Beyoncé And The Fertility Of Forgiveness
Beyoncé doesn’t take second swings at her targets, she seems to have no particular animus for anything she smashes. In fact, when she knocks the top off of a fire hydrant, children rush forward to play in the spray; a perfect realization of 'My wounds are fertile!' from Leslie Jamison’s 'Grand Unified Theory of Female… Read More
Modern Weddings Have Lost Interest In The Marriage Bed
"[The Knot Book of Wedding Lists] recommends planning (and planning to attend) a second party after the reception winds down, telling spouses-to-be: “An after-party is more than just an extension of your wedding day—it’s a great way to show off more of your wedding style with surprising details and personal touches.” [...] It can’t be… Read More
Engagement, A Bibliography
On Easter Sunday, my boyfriend proposed to me at Belvedere Castle in Central Park. And I feel the best way to invite you all into my joy is to share the bibliography of our courtship — the favorite books we asked each other to read, the books we read for the first time together, the… Read More